Being adult means to be in full command of your powers, for example to keep your center even if you talk with your boss, your mother-in-law, a policeman, or a spiritual teacher.
To own your own voice and not to repeat other people’s voices or do what others say without examining it.
To source resources rather than consuming resources, to make distinction so you don’t immediately believe what others tell you.
To be present with your thoughts and feelings, to take responsibility for things like time, energy, attention, stories, choices, purpose, tone of voice, vocabulary, the culture you live in, the present circumstances, and much more.
Growing up doesn’t start with learning a repeatable method by heart. It starts with “mental maps” you use to view the things in your life.
Before you change something you first (sometimes painfully) have to become aware of the way you are creating the circumstances you are in so that the impulse for change emerges from a natural necessity and not from wishful thinking.
Did you ever try to change something in your life because you could well imagine a different result? Did you then imagine the new possible result but behave in the same way as before? Did anything change after that? The human mind is able to imagine a perfect result but the actual change doesn’t happen in the mind.